Crazy about you!
by Yojimbra
Summary: Akechi thought that he was the Crazy one, That is until Joker shows her terrifyingly beautiful true self by saving him from his own shadow. Fem Joker x Akechi. Lots of blood, sex, and possible rape as two insane people make love. Yandere Psyco Bitch


It seemed so Ironic that his final act would be to sacrifice himself so that they could escape. With one last glance, Akechi turned to look at Akira, or as she was known as in the metaverse, Joker. It was strange how that meek prude of a girl that she appeared as in the real world could become such a beautifully dangerous creature.

He was jealous of her for a long time, she had what he lacked, friends. Sure he had admirers but he was alone in the world with no one to rely on but himself. She had friends, and why was she smiling like that? Did she know what he was about to do? Even as he had a gun pointed at her head.

"You're the one that will disappear!" Akechi roared turning to shoot Shido's puppet versions of himself. It was so fitting that his final opponent the one that would do him in was his own copy like it was some shitty character arc coming to its end at the high of his growth. With no hesitation, he shot his mirror and then turned to shot pass the phantom thieves hitting the control switch.

The lights flashed red as the emergency shutdown system activated. At least this way he'd be able to save the people that accepted who he really was, even if it was only for a short while. They would continue on his will, they would make Shido suffer. In a way, that was better than his father dying.

His eyes were drawn towards Joker one last time. Her smile had changed, from the cocky, sure of herself smile that she wore in the metaverse to something that sent a chill up and down his spine. She was planning something.

In a swirl of black and red, she spiraled over the emergency door as it slammed shut cutting them off from the rest of the Phantom Thieves. "Are you crazy? You need to get out of here or we'll both die."

She looked down at him, brushing back her wavy waist length black hair that seemed to have a life of its own. Her smile had gotten worse, stretching from ear to ear it was twice as insane as his most maniacal smile, her blood red eyes danced with excitement and amusement.

"He's right you know," Shadow Akechi said pointing the gun at her now. "If I kill you then all your little friends will fall to ribbons and Master Shido will be able to fulfill his plan!"

The gunshot echoed in the sealed chamber followed quickly by the bullets ricochet against a metal pipe in the background. Blood dripped from Joker's cheek and a hole had appeared in her hair as a few strands fell loose. But she was unharmed.

"You missed," She giggled out, it was far too sweet and innocent to come from somebody with that look in her eye. Her laughter built up from a giggle into a chuckle continuing onward. She bolted towards Shadow Akechi, in a blaze of movement that left streaks of red and black everywhere.

Another gunshot another miss, then another and another. Desperation grew on his copies face as Joker was simply too much. She was toying with him; she had toyed with them all from the very begining. Where was this strength when they fought? Where was this strength when they fought side by side?

She was toying with his shadow like it was nothing. She had been holding back all this time. But why? It didn't make sense. Then as her laughter grew into a full maniacal laughter of somebody had reached ecstasy through their insanity she leaped down and sliced his shadows throat taking his gun and turning on the horde of shadows advanced towards her.

With a dagger in one hand and pistol in another, she charged at them. Though to him, it was more like a beautiful dance of death and destruction as she tore through the horde. Their black blood stained the ground like a beautiful painting. Her insidious laughter and the screams of the shadows were a wonderful symphony.

His heart skipped a beat as he watched her work. He had always thought that she was attractive that she had an unmistakable allure about her. But this was on another level, she was the most attractive female he had ever seen. The more blood she shed the more his desire grew, her laughter a siren's call that lured him further down into the depths of hell.

She turned to him, the last of the shadows dead or fleeing. He was in love with her. He had an unmistakable desire to kiss this absolutely beautifully insane woman that had just saved his life. She walked towards him soaked in blood and sweat looking insanely beautiful. With each step, she swayed her hips and his heart skipped a beat.

For the longest time, the only thing he had desired was Shido's death. But now a desire he hadn't even known had surfaced like a malicious disease that became the center of his universe. He desired her.

He loved her.

"For the record," Her voice was like a viper's kiss, she pushed him to the ground, following him down, her lanky, womanly, and ultimately irresistible form pressed against his. "I am crazy. Crazy about you."

Well, at least she was still incredibly cheesy.

She pressed her lips to his, it wasn't a kiss. Not a willing one at any rate, despite the fact that his body desired her on every level. She was brutal, fast, efficient, and in the end, he tasted blood.

"I want you to remember Akechi," She pressed her thumb into his bullet wound causing a searing pain to tear through his body mixing with boiling pleasure and passion she was causing him. "You're not allowed to die until I say so."

He felt alive, like the world finally had color to it after wandering through an endless valley of dull gray fog. And that color was the blood red of her eyes that stared at him with the hunger of a wolf. The sheep's clothing she had worn in reality and the noble pack leader's clothing she wore in front of the other Phantom Thieves were left behind long ago. She was a feral wolf in heat. And she wanted everything from him.

And he wanted everything from her.

"I think I love you." He blurted out as he tried to reach out and touch him. His arm was weak and he could only move in sluggish motions compared to her graceful lightning fast movements.

She grabbed his arm and led it to her cheek. "That's a good thing Sparrow," She purred his name like a feral cat ready to rip his face off. In a sudden twist, she slammed his arm down onto the ground driving her knife between his fingers. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you."

He had never been so attracted to anything in his entire life.

"Gah, what are you doing?" He asked through gritted teeth. Pain, pleasure, passion, were mixing into a perfect concoction within him.

"What I've wanted to do since I first met you," She straddled him rolling her feminine hips against his. She removed her coat dropping it to the ground revealing the womanly figure so often hidden beneath her school attire and Joker attire. "It's only gotten worse every time you betrayed me or tried to kill me. My desire for you. It's unearthly. When I see you, you're all I see. So we're going to have sex, very very painful sex for you. But for me, it'll feel amazing."

With every word she stripped him, tearing off piece after piece of his armor and clothing until his bare chest was hers to ravage. "So you're going to rape me as revenge for betraying you?"

"No," She corrected as she began to peel off her own outfit, the gloves and mask remained on as her top was discarded to the side, revealing the large full breasts that she had somehow been hiding under everything. He was a renowned ace detective, and he would never have guessed that she was so blessed. "We're going to have sex, whether or not you're willing is entirely up to you."

"Here? In my own father's palace surrounded by an army of shadows willing to kill us in a room that's about to explode while our friends are on the other side of the door still trying to find a way to rescue you?" She smiled at him as she began to pull down his pants. His body wasn't going to say no to her.

"That just makes everything better!" Oh god, this was turning her on wasn't it? Him struggling, him in pain, their situation, everything was just building up to her boiling point. "Besides think about, what better way to fuck with your daddy's mind than by fucking his arch enemy inside of it?"

Very valid and incredibly sexy point.

"You're crazy," He seethed having enough of her games, he shot upwards with a surge of stamina that was driving by a primal lust for the lunatic that straddling him. He captured her lips into a hot searing kiss that left them both bloodied in its aftermath. They'd be a shit self-destructive couple hell bent on destroying each other in everything they did. But as lovers, they'd be unstoppable. "Let's do it."

She pushed him down again, her pants had somehow vanished and his were at his knees. With a feral look, she kissed one of his still bleeding bullet wounds mixing his and her blood into a sanguine lipstick that drove him wild. "That's the spirit Akechi, but remember I'm in charge."

It was hard to say no to the woman that was in complete control of all of his senses. She kissed him again even as he led him to her entrance.

All he could feel was pain, pleasure, and passion as she began to ride him. His bloodied hand was gripping her breast as she bounced on top of him, she looked so hot covered in blood. So irresistibly sexy. He groaned with her every movement, with the every twist and turn her body made.

"What's it like losing your virginity in your father's palace Mr. Ace Detective?" She panted out with both hands on his chest, and one thumb in his bullet wound. "It's turning me on so much."

He completely forgot where they were, there was only this blood covered woman that was going to kill him with sex. "Aren't you a virgin too?"

How on earth was she so good at this? Her file said nothing about any past relationships, no one even wanted to date her after she became a convict.

"Yep," She leaned down towards his ear as her hips ground circles into his own. She licked and bit at his earlobe. "But I own a lot of dildos -watch a lot of porn too- so I know a thing or two."

Akechi could only blink as he felt himself nearing his climax. "I think I'm going to die!"

He meant to say cum, but both seemed likely at this point. How on earth was he even still alive at this point? She was wearing more of his blood than he had inside of his body. To say nothing of his raging hard on that no doubt had what was left of it.

"No!" She shouted slamming both hands down onto his chest wracking his body with an explosion of pain that only made things worse for his endurance. "I'm close you're not allowed to finish until I do!"

She pounded into him harder than ever before, her hips a whirl as she seemed to move in every single direction at once. Her slender stomach rolling with every motion and her large sexy breasts bounced up and down sending drops of his blood in every direction.

He was going to die having sex with Joker. He was way too okay with this. His hands found her hips and he began to assist her motions adding his strength to hers. "Harder!"

"Now you're talking!" Her moans were feral and beyond recognition, the sirens of hell as the demons came to take him. "Yes Akechi, I'm there!"

She closed in around him, squeezing the life out him as her head flew back in ecstasy. It was enough to drive him over the edge as well.

He came inside her as his world faded began to fade to black. There was little he could do but watch as she stood from him, a happy pleasant smile on her face as her body ignited in blue flame. Once again she was fully clothed in her normal attire.

"I do wonder if I can get pregnant having sex in the metaverse." A decent question. "Oh well, I'm on the pill anyway, if you live Akechi let's do this again sometime."

Suddenly Akechi had a very very good reason not to die.

XXXX

Yaldabaoth stared at the events that had just transpired with an unusual mix of emotions plaguing its mind. This was, humans were…. That fool Igor…. Nothing…. His champion was…

With a snarl, he freed the true Igor from his prison the misshapen man slumping down in a cell nearby.

"You cheated." Yaldabaoth accused glaring at Igor.

Igor opened a weary eye and simply smiled. "I got a little creative with my champion, she could have just as easily fallen in line with yours."

"You still cheated."

 **AN: I got told I should branch out and see if that helps me get out of my Naruto funk. I wrote this in two hours and I fucking love it. Hope you all enjoy the insanity I wrote.**


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